faith over fear

Oh my goodness, I will be set apart as a missionary in less than 3 days! Once that happens, my little sister (aka the Panda Miranda) will be my companion until I enter the MTC at 12:30 pm on Wednesday. Is that legal? Hm, I hope so. The stake president didn't seem to have a problem with it. Anyway, this also means I will be saying adios to all that is un-missionary-like come Sunday. No more Facebook. No more blogging. What else? I don't even know the rules once you're set apart. The only thing I know is that I'll be dressing like a sister. Maybe I shouldn't use that term. It sounds like I'm swearing or something.

It still hasn't sunk in what I'm about to do. Right now it just feels like I'm at home visiting for the holidays. Only it's hot outside. And other than finishing up immunizations and preparing for my "farewell" talk, not much has been done that makes me feel like I'm a missionary. I am starting to get nervous though. I try to prevent myself from dwelling on those feelings though because I know that fear is the opposite of faith. I guess the thing that scares me the most is myself...not being able to work hard consistently and constantly for the whole 18...being able to overcome feelings of discouragement...being a good missionary...gaining weight...

Ok so the last one is just a joke. Well, maybe still a minor concern in the back of my mind. I'm sure missionaries have just the same temptations they do before they are set apart, so I'm a little nervous about my tendency to overeat and not stop when I'm full. I guess a little rotundness could be a positive thing? Thank goodness I'll be biking. And sweating a lot. Excuse me, I should say "glistening" a lot. According to Steve, girls don't sweat. They glisten. So I anticipate much glistening in the future for me then.

home sweet home

I made it back to California just in time for a little family reunion with my mom's side in San Francisco. On Saturday morning I decided to join my brother and his fiance for a little run along the coast. Right off the bat, we went up one of the STEEPEST inclines possible. Remember, I was in San Francisco! It was brutal!

An example of the hill that we conquered. Ok so it doesn't even look steep. I blame that on my lack of picture-taking abilities.

We ran along the coast but the fog was too dense to see anything. But four miles, hundreds of hills, and a super red face later, we made it home! It was my first time running in a LONG time. So I felt justified in eating three times as much as normal.

Then we went for a little walk as a family. It was so fun! Here are just a few pictures.

Cousins : )

Parents, me, and Panda

I'm going to eat you, Mommy!

the girls
Jennifer, Tiffany, me, and Miranda

Basically I just love my family! We've laughed so hard and had so much fun. It's been a great weekend so far!

a few "lasts"

So Friday marked my last day in Provo. :( Last Sunday we had a goodbye party at my apartment and it was so great to see all sorts of good friends that I've made throughout college. My amazing roommates did a great job in making tons of goodies to feed the masses! Peach cobbler, brownies, cookies, flan, licorice, and more. It was delicious. And look what Angie started for me on our white board:

We didn't take any pictures from the actual party, but here's one with the stragglers:

a little Merrill-Megan sandwich

The weekend before the little goodbye party, one of my best friends, Emily, came up from her little home town of Burbank to see me one last time.

a group of us at the Pizza Factory

I got the hiccups and someone told me to drink water upside-down to make them go away. Little did I know that Steve would have so much fun holding me down and "drowning" me! Don't let his innocent face deceive you ; )

Lisa and I at my last intramural game (for now). I just had to wear my "windsor groupies" shirt in honor of the occasion.

Here's my little Angie recreating one of my favorite inside jokes one last time. Ang, please don't kill me for posting this! At least it's not on facebook...

For the past few months I've had the opportunity to job shadow a physical therapist in a rehabilitation center at the hospital. It was a really neat setting since all the patients were suffering with some sort of brain or spinal cord injury. Most of the people I worked with had experienced a traumatic event (stroke, accidents riding kite-boards, snowboards, or motorcycles) and literally had to change their lives completely. Many had to learn, over several months or years, how to walk all over again. I was impressed with the huge connection between recovery and the patient's determination. Like in most circumstances, attitude determines outcomes.

Here's a picture with Shane, the rehab center's physical therapist, on my last day.
AH-MAZING guy. Miss that place already!

Steve and I visited Temple Square in our last hours together. Here we are after a very filling dinner at the Garden Restaurant on the roof of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. He's one of the best people I've ever known.

Right now I find myself at a crossroads of emotions. On the one hand, I'm so excited to be serving the people of Australia and in dedicating 18 months of my life to my Heavenly Father and His work. On the other hand, I'm torn about leaving the people I care so much about and realize that I also leave behind a time in my life that I have absolutely loved. No responsibility, no school, no real job, and plenty of time to strengthen relationships with people I love. Ok, so basically it's been a lazy period of my life and it's probably a good thing I'm going on a mission!

Thanks to my friends who have supported me so much and given me a summer to remember! As the summer draws to a close and we adapt to changes and move on with our lives, I know the memories will be sure to last!

my hot new wardrobe

I am determined not to be a frumpy sister missionary. After shopping for shoes today, I'm afraid that this could be inevitable. Here's a little math equation that basically sums up my experience today:

Practical + durable + anti-fungal soles + chunky = not that cute = my new pair of shoes today.

Other than shoe shopping, buying mission clothes has surprisingly been lots of fun! My roommate, Heather, is a (cute not frumpy) R.M. and has taken me all over Provo and Orem to redo my wardrobe. I think I'm pretty much done...

3 blazers
6 mid-calf length skirts (to accentuate cankles and therefore decrease attractiveness to single men)
too many blouses and tops to count
3 vests (one is argyle!)
and 1 cardigan

Nikki and me (wearing one of the many new blouses)

Heather, me (in a new button-up), and Angie (in my new cardigan)

another mission shirt...so comfy!

Those are all the pictures I have wearing any portion of my mission wardrobe. It's been kind of a pricey hobby, but that's expected when nothing you normally wear would be missionary appropriate! Not that what I wore was scandalous or anything... Just now I have to dress a little classier! No more American Eagle or Hollister--hello Sister Missionary Mall!

Actually the most successful shopping I've done is within the walls of thrift stores. Good ol' D.I. What's interesting about thrift store shopping is that even though it's already dirt cheap (nothing I bought cost more than $5), you feel the need to acknowledge name brands. Isaac Mizrahi. Express. H&M. Gap. Actually that probably has more to do with feeling somewhat cute when you're purchasing sister missionary clothes.

If anyone is planning on serving a mission, beware what I call "sister missionary eyes." You start seeing every article of clothing from a new perspective, and clothes I would normally consider seriously heinous begin to look attractive. It all begins with the idea that you've got no one to impress. And although that's true, I think it permanently messes up any fashion sense you have in the first place!

the baby's all grown up

I can't believe my little sister has graduated from high school! The last of the four Lo kids.

I'm so excited for her to go to BYU in the fall. Too bad I won't be there to witness her doing the audio tour of the library, or help her find her way around campus, or bum off her Dining Plus meal plan. I'm probably the saddest about the last one. ; )


Panda, I love you and am so proud of you. You are going to love college! Trust me, all the returned missionaries who served in Asian countries who are suffering from "yellow fever" will love you too! Keep up the great work, Mirs!

Options

Decisions are so fun. Especially when you have trouble making them. Recently I've been faced with the decision to choose between an amazing boy and an amazing mission call to Australia. What an amazing time in our lives when we have so many options to lead us to become the people we want to be! But how do you decide which is the best choice at this specific time in your life when you can't compare the outcomes? I guess that's the beauty of faith.

As my best friends will tell you, I love to have a plan. So the surprising turn of events this summer has really taught me that you can't always plan on what life is going to throw you. It was a little frustrating to really not know what would happen come July 29, but I've learned to simply live the best I can and trust that God will help me make the choice that's best for me and for others.

Sometimes I think we are too logical when making decisions, and I've realized that there are times when your heart makes a decision before your mind even registers it. And once your heart is set on something, it's just up to your mind to realize and come to terms with it.

So this rambling post is to say what my heart (and Steve's) decided about either staying behind and getting married to an incredible person or serving the people of Australia for 18 months...



I'm going on a mission!!!

a weekend in wonderland

Sunburns, LA rush hour, late nights and early mornings. But I can easily say this was one of the BEST weekends I've ever had. I have never been so exhausted after three days, but I have never been so in love, either.

I road-tripped down to SoCal with Em's boyf-- aka Gabey Baby-- and my own Stevie Wonder. We flew through Nevada and made it to Emily's house around 1 am. We were beat!

We kicked off the weekend with a little trip to Venice Beach. The people there are interesting and are probably more entertaining than the scenery itself. Like the old man jamming in the waves to music only he could hear. Or the other old man running through the sand in a skimpy, pink-colored speedo. That was Em's favorite part. Probably.

Later that night we went to the Dodgers vs. Angels game. I have recently developed a love of baseball. Probably only because Steve was patient enough to explain all the rules and abbreviations to me so I know what's going on. I think it's a beautiful sport.

Next day...DISNEYLAND!! We took a test to figure out which Disney character we were most like. Steve was Cogsworth. And I was Dot, a BUG from A Bug's Life. Seriously, a bug?! I refused to accept that so I took it again and got Cinderella.

Ok, I know. We're dorks. But at least we have fun while we make fools of ourselves!


This is on our very first ride of the day. It's a Small World!! One of my favorite rides because it reminds me how much beauty there is in our differences.

In line for Soaring over California.

On the Tower of Terror! Can't you tell by Emily's expression?

Sunday was absolutely amazing. Gabel stayed with Emily while I went with Steve to spend time with his family at his aunt's home in Rancho Santa Margarita. I've met almost all 11 members of his family now! Just missing Will, his brother on a mission in Cambodia. We had delicious food, played games, and had a little talent show. Steve said "thank you" in a bunch of languages for his talent, and I did a little hula for mine.

I played speed with his two youngest siblings, Emily (10) and Mike (13). They are so cute and fun and they absolutely SCHOOLED me at speed. Here's Steve with them.


Later in the evening we played Mexican Train as a family until midnight. You could tell it was getting late because we were all a little loopy. Sunday was simple, relaxing, and yet so nice just to spend time with Steve and his amazing family. I care more about Steve after this weekend than I did before, and I attribute that to seeing him in a new dimension outside of Provo. If you ever want to get to know someone better, go on a roadtrip with them! I did, and I've been pleasantly surprised. : )

we so sneaky

I flew home to California this weekend and surprised my little sister! All of it was worth the expression on her face when I walked in the house Thursday night.

How my parents actually kept it a secret is quite the miracle. But what an eventful weekend to be home...the Oakland Temple, Mother's Day, visiting relatives, my early birthday celebration, and Miranda's Senior Ball!

10:00 a.m.
The day started off with the idea that my domesticity would empower me to make a little shrug/crop top thingy for Miranda to wear with her prom dress. She had already borrowed a black one to wear over her yellow dress, but NO SISTER OF MINE would attend a formal looking like a bumblebee.

12:00 p.m.
Walked out of Joann's like a champ, bearing a Simplicity pattern and 1 yard of freshly cut, off-white special occasion fabric.

12:30 p.m.
Greeted my adorable grandparents, gorged myself on some scrumptious Dim Sum (Chinese snacks or stuff you buy in SF bakeries), and sat down to work...

2:30 p.m.
Almost done with the attempt at de-bumblebee-izing my sister... Just have to stitch some loose ends and right-side it out...

2:35 p.m.
What the?! Premature rejoicing...I have NO IDEA what I created!!!


It looked the right shape when it was inside-out, but when we reversed it, something was very wrong. My uncle said that it looked like a pair of pants for a very fat dwarf.

Needless to say, I was embarrassed. So much for being a domestic goddess. But I remembered the words of the late Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin:

"Learn to laugh!"

3:30 p.m.
Gave up on the shrug and started on my next project...hair and makeup!

6:00 p.m.
Finished curling Miranda's hair and doing her makeup, but I was still determined to get the shrug to work! Miranda was already half an hour late to meet up with her friends, but like I said, I was determined.

6:30 p.m.
A miracle and ten prayers later, I literally had some divine intervention and inspiration to get the sleeves to work. Ahh...finished!

The exchange...


The adorable couple. High school love. : )


All the girls. With pretty bouquets made by one girl's mom.All the couples!

i can't help but smile

Oh sweet summertime. No school, baby! And that's just the beginning of things to be happy about. And since I love top ten lists so much, I've decided to make a list of the Top Ten Things I'm Excited about This Summer.

10. Intramurals. Ok, so I'm too embarrassed to actually play them. But I am an awesome spectator. Just ask Steve.

9. Mondays. It means frozen yogurt is discounted to 30 cents an ounce at Yozone.

8. Ice cream. Whether it's a 1.5 quart carton of Breyer's or Macey's vanilla soft serve, I am so there...it's insane.

7. Pandora. I'm pretty much obsessed with Pandora Radio. Oh surprise, I'm listening to it now.

6. Domestication. Lately I've taken up cooking since Steve wouldn't eat healthy otherwise. Plus it's more motivating to cook for two rather than one. Allrecipes.com is my hero.

5. Roadtrips. Nothing like spending 10+ hours in a car with people you love!

4. Miranda's Graduation. Steve and I are flying home for the Panda's high school graduation. My parents will officially be empty nesters!

3. Australia. Less than 3 months till the big report day! I'm definitely okay with coming back with an Aussie accent.

2. Late Night Heart-to-Hearts. Two weeks ago I made the big move from my old room to Angie's on the other side of the wall. Now we talk and practice our deep belly laughs together until we fall asleep.

1. The Temple. Just 7 days until I go through!

Because I have nothing better to do

So I always told myself I would leave blogging up to the married people who would have something interesting to say about their lives. But seeing as this is not in the imminent future, and based on the fact that my two best friends also just started blogging, I thought I would jump on the blogging bandwagon as well. Here goes!